Day 17:: The Crucible of Choice

Not my will, but Your will be done.

I'm just saying, "Let's be gut-level honest here. If it doesn't cost you anything, it's not worth anything." Need more clarity? Do whatever you want. But if it pleases you, all the while contradicting the word of God, you are pleasing your own god--but you are your own god.

• Thoughts of Jesus in the garden? Scared. Tired. Desperate. 
• Collision of Wills:  What I want for my life vs. what God wants in my life.
• Big collision of wills: I was called to be a missionary right after I was saved when I was 13. It's not that I didn't want to do that. I would love to be more involved in all sorts of mission trips. I just picked different things and walked different paths that led me in the opposite directions. 
• I was so completely convicted after I realized what I had done. There's only one thing left to do. I should probably find every way possible to get back to where I could be had I not ventured away from the will of God.
• I make excuses. I make them often. "its not in my nature." "i can't just go and talk to them." "I don't do things like that by myself." "I don't want people to think I'm a goody goody." 

• Matthew 26:36-46 (New International Version)

  
  

  Gethsemane

   ³⁶Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." ³⁷He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. ³⁸Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." ³⁹Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."
   ⁴⁰Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter. ⁴¹"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
   ⁴²He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
   ⁴³When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. ⁴⁴So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
   ⁴⁵Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour is near, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. ⁴⁶Rise, let us go! Here comes my betrayer!"

Matthew 26:39, 42
2Samuel 24:24
Psalm 63